The Prime Minister has discovered a new constitutional power: the ability to grant time off work if a football team wins a tournament. He did not discover this power through legislation, consultation, or any mechanism that resembles how government actually works. He discovered it by opening his mouth at a press event.
Starmer said he doesn’t want to “jinx it” but offered a bank holiday if England reaches the final and wins. This is the political equivalent of a teenager promising his parents he’ll clean his room if his band gets signed—technically he could do it, but everyone knows this is just noise made while the actual outcome remains completely outside his control.
What makes this genuinely absurd is the implicit infrastructure behind the promise. A bank holiday requires parliamentary time, coordination with employers, and advance notice. England is currently mid-tournament. The logistics of declaring a surprise national day off based on a sports result would require either (a) the government to have a draft bank holiday ready to rubber-stamp within hours, or (b) Starmer to simply declare one and hope nobody notices he’s invented a new executive power.
The real tell is the conditional language. “Ask me again if we get to the final.” Translation: I have said something I cannot unsay, so I am now hoping you forget about it. You will not forget about it. Opposition MPs will not forget about it. If England loses, this becomes the quote they use every time Starmer makes a promise about anything else.
Politicians have always wrapped themselves in flags and football shirts. Starmer just did it in real time, on camera, while admitting he was doing it to avoid jinxing the team. The only thing jinxed here is his credibility.