UK Economy Expands 0.4% in July Thanks to AI, Because Who Needs Human Jobs Anyway?

Britain’s economy grew 0.4% in July, beating analyst expectations of flatline growth. Naturally, everyone is crediting artificial intelligence — the sector that employs roughly the same number of people as a mid-sized regional newspaper.

Here is what actually happened: the UK squeezed out growth while manufacturing continued its slow disappearance, real wages stayed flat, and the hospitality sector remained understaffed enough to make ordering a pint feel like a negotiation. But sure, let’s celebrate the AI boom.

The absurdity here is not that AI contributed to growth — it probably did, in the way that any new technology creates measurable economic activity. The absurdity is that we are treating a 0.4% expansion as vindication of an economic model that has no answer for what happens when the jobs that paid for houses and pensions vanish faster than the new ones appear.

AI is real. Growth is real. But growth driven by a sector that automates away employment while enriching a handful of tech companies and their investors is not the same as growth that lifts living standards. It is growth that looks good in a spreadsheet while the actual economy — the one where people buy things and pay mortgages — continues to tread water.

The punchline writes itself: we are celebrating economic growth that nobody can afford to participate in. If this is what winning looks like, we should probably check the scoreboard.