After yesterday’s air traffic control meltdown grounded over 2,000 flights across the UK, Transport Secretary Heidi Alexander announced what she’s calling a ‘silver lining’ — the incident was actually a successful beta test for the government’s new ‘Let It Fly’ passenger allocation system.
Instead of the chaotic first-come-first-served boarding model that has plagued aviation for decades, the new system uses pure randomization. When a flight must be canceled — which, let’s be honest, will happen more often now — a lottery determines which lucky passengers still get to board a different plane, to a different destination, at a different time.
“We’ve eliminated the unfairness of people actually planning their travel,” Alexander explained to reporters. “Under Let It Fly, a pensioner heading to a funeral has exactly the same odds as a tech bro catching a stag do in Ibiza. Democracy in action.”
The Transport Department estimates the system will save £340 million annually in customer service staff, since there will be no one left to complain to. Passengers who lose the lottery receive a voucher valid for one free airport coffee, redeemable within 18 months at participating locations.
Airlines have already begun calculating how to integrate the lottery into their pricing models. Early projections suggest ticket prices will remain identical, but your actual probability of flying will now cost extra.